Frustration Be Gone: 18 Effective Coping Skills to Tackle Frustration well.
Think about this for a moment.
Have you felt frustrated? It could be a work deadline or a relationship that wouldn’t work out. Whatever the cause, frustration is usual. It takes work to deal with.
I know from personal experience how hard it can be to manage frustration. There have been times when I’ve felt so overwhelmed that I couldn’t see a way out. But over time, I’ve learned practical coping skills that have helped me stay calm and focused, even in the most frustrating situations.
So if you’re feeling frustrated and at your wit’s end, know you’re not alone. I’m here to help you navigate those difficult emotions and become more assertive on the other side.
Let's dive right in..
5 Common Causes of Frustration
Let’s get started
Frustration can be caused by various factors, from external circumstances to internal beliefs and attitudes. Here are some common causes of frustration:
1. Unrealistic expectations
Getting caught up in perfection is easy, but setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves or others can lead to frustration when things don’t go as planned. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes and to have setbacks.
When we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves or others, we set ourselves up for frustration. It’s essential to be realistic about what we can achieve and to accept that sometimes things don’t go according to plan.
2. Lack of control
Feeling like we have no control over a situation can be incredibly frustrating. It’s important to remember that there are some things we can control and others we can’t.
Pro Tip:
Control issues can often lead to problems such as anxiety, frustration etc. It’s important to maintain a balance and learn coping skills in order to manage the control issues.
Journaling about what are the things you like to control?, what things that are in your control?, how do you feel about that situation? Etc can help you to become more self aware about yourself and the situation. It also give you a better clarity about your feelings.
3. Blocked goals
It can be frustrating when we have a goal we’re working towards and hit a roadblock. It’s important to remember that setbacks are a natural part of the journey toward achieving our goals.
Pro Tip:
It’s often considered as a difficult phase when we face obstacles while achieving our goal. Using positive affirmations can help you to stay motivated and push yourself towards achieving your goal. Some of the positive affirmations you can use are
- I believe in myself and my abilities.
- I am fully committed to making my goals a reality.
- Success is my future.
- I am highly productive.
- I can do this, I've got this.
4. Conflicting values
When our values conflict with the values of others or with societal norms, it can be frustrating.
Imagine you worked hard on a project for weeks, but when it was time to present it to your boss, they criticized it harshly. You may feel frustrated and disappointed, but instead of getting defensive or angry, you could take a deep breath and calmly address their concerns. This can help you find a solution that works for everyone and shows your boss that you are open to feedback and willing to work toward improvement.
It’s important to remember that everyone has their values and beliefs and that having different opinions is okay.
Pro Tip:
Even though it’s frustrating when your values don’t match with the values of others, the harsh truth is, it’s impossible to expect the same set of beliefs and values from all the people and not every value conflict can be resolved, however how you respond to it matters a lot.
Healthy communication can be very helpful in such situations. Listen to what the other person has to say and have an open mind about their opinions and feedbacks, if you strongly believe in your value, try to communicate the same with the other person with logical reasoning and as why this value is important to you.
5. Environmental factors
External circumstances such as noise, temperature, or crowds can also lead to frustration. It’s important to recognize when we’re in an environment that’s not conducive to our well-being and to take steps to remove ourselves from that situation if possible.
Pro Tip:
Environment plays an important role in influencing our emotions, however we cannot always control our environment. For example – getting stuck in the traffic, stressful workplace etc. If you’re not able to avoid environment that triggers your frustration, try positive visualisation- close your eyes and imagine yourself being in a place that makes you happy ( walking in a beach, trekking etc).
5 Common Effects of Frustration
Let’s dig a little deeper
Frustration can have various adverse effects on our physical and mental health. Here are some everyday products of frustration:
1. Increased stress
Feeling frustrated can trigger our fight or flight response, leading to increased levels of stress hormones in our bodies. This can harm our physical health, including our cardiovascular and immune systems.
Research suggests that feeling frustrated can lead to increased levels of stress hormones, impacting our physical health negatively. Studies suggest that chronic stress can harm our cardiovascular and immune systems.
2. Decreased motivation
When we feel stuck or blocked in a frustrating situation, it’s easy to lose motivation and feel like giving up. This can lead to feelings of hopelessness and even depression.
Even successful individuals like Virat Kohli can sometimes experience a lack of motivation and frustration. When the Indian cricket team faced a difficult period in 2020, Kohli admitted feeling frustrated and demotivated. However, he acknowledged the importance of taking a step back, reassessing the situation, and focusing on what he could control. By doing so, he overcame his frustrations and led his team to a successful comeback.
3. Strained relationships
Frustration can also take a toll on our relationships with others. When we’re feeling frustrated, it’s easy to take our emotions out on those around us, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings.
Pro Tip:
It’s important to be mindful of not adding the weight of our emotions on our partners or people we know. Instead of pouring out your frustration on other person, take a deep breath, and once your calm, state what made you upset.
Take a time out for yourself and practice self compassion.
4. Negative self-talk
When frustrated, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of negative self-talk. We may start to doubt ourselves and our abilities, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
5. Decreased productivity
Feeling frustrated can also decrease our productivity and ability to focus. Staying on task and accomplishing our goals can be challenging when caught up in negative emotions.
Key Takeaway
98% of all frustration stems from these five reasons. Increased stress, decreased motivation, strained relationships, negative self-talk, and reduced productivity.
18 Coping Skill For Frustration
So let’s take a closer look
1. Use Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are simple statements that can help you shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive ones. By repeating positive affirmations to yourself, you can improve your mood and increase your sense of self-worth. Examples of positive affirmations include:
- "I am capable of handling any situation that comes my way."
- "I choose to focus on the positive aspects of my life."
- "I am worthy of love and respect."
When you’re feeling frustrated, try repeating these affirmations to yourself. You might be surprised at how much they can help.
2. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to be more aware of your thoughts and feelings, which can help you to manage them better. Here are a few mindfulness techniques to try:
- Mindful breathing: Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breath. Notice the sensation of the air entering and leaving your body.
- Body scan: Close your eyes and focus on each part of your body, starting at your toes and working up to your head.
- Mindful observation: Pick an object in your environment and focus on it. Notice its color, shape, and texture.
3. Stay Present in the Moment
When you’re frustrated, it’s easy to get caught up in negative thoughts about the past or worries about the future. However, staying present at the moment can help you to feel more grounded and less overwhelmed. Here are a few ways to stay current:
- Focus on your senses: Take a moment to notice what you can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.
- Engage in an activity: Choose an activity that requires your full attention, such as cooking or gardening.
- Practice gratitude: Take a moment to appreciate the good things in your life.
4. Write Down Thoughts
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a powerful way to cope with frustration. You can gain clarity and perspective on the situation by putting your thoughts on paper. Here are a few ways to use writing as a coping tool:
- Journaling: Write about your thoughts and feelings in a journal. It is helpful to write about what is causing your frustration, how it makes you feel, and what you can do to feel better.
- Brainstorming: Write down all the possible solutions to your problem, even if they seem unrealistic or impractical.
- Letter writing: Write a letter to someone who has caused you frustration. You don't have to send the letter, but writing your thoughts and feelings on paper can be therapeutic.
5. Use Humor to Release Anger
Humor can be a great way to release anger and frustration. Laughter can help you feel more relaxed and can even reduce stress hormones. Here are a few ways to use humor as a coping tool:
- Watch a funny movie or TV show: Laughter is contagious, so surround yourself with things that make you laugh.
- Read a funny book: Reading a book that makes you laugh can significantly distract you from your frustration.
- Make light of the situation: Try to find the humor in the case causing your frustration. This can help you to take a step back and see the issue in a different light.
6. Practice Gratitude
Focusing on what’s going wrong can be easy when you’re frustrated. However, practicing gratitude can help you shift your focus to what’s going right. Here are a few ways to practice gratitude:
- Keep a gratitude journal: Write three things you're grateful for daily.
- Express gratitude to others: Take a moment to thank someone who has helped you or positively impacted your life.
- Focus on the good: When you're feeling frustrated, try to focus on the positive aspects of the situation. This can help you to feel more grateful for what you do have.
7. Use Physical Exercise
Exercise is a great way to release pent-up frustration and stress. Physical activity releases endorphins, which can boost your mood and reduce feelings of anxiety and depression. Here are a few ways to incorporate exercise into your coping strategy:
- Go for a walk: Even a short walk can help you feel better.
- Try yoga: Yoga combines physical movement with mindfulness, a great way to reduce stress and improve mood.
- Engage in a sport: Playing a sport can help you healthily release frustration while also getting exercise.
8. Seek Support from Family and Friends
Talking to someone you trust can be a great way to cope with frustration. Here are a few ways to seek support from family and friends:
- Call a friend: Reach out to a friend you can trust to listen and support you.
- Talk it out: Share your thoughts and feelings with someone who will listen without judgment.
- Get advice: Ask someone you trust for advice or guidance on how to handle the situation.
- Join a support group: Joining a support group can be a great way to connect with others who are going through similar experiences.
9. Engage in Relaxing Activity
Engaging in a relaxing activity can help you reduce stress and promote feelings of calm. Here are a few ways to relax:
- Take a bath: A warm bath can help you relax your muscles and reduce tension.
- Listen to music: Music can powerfully affect your mood and help you feel more relaxed.
- Meditate: Meditation can help you clear your mind and focus on the present moment.
10. Take a Break
Sometimes, the best thing you can do when you’re feeling frustrated is to take a break. Here are a few ways to take a break:
- Take a nap: A short rest can help you to recharge and feel refreshed.
- Read a book: Getting lost in a good book can help you forget your frustrations.
- Go on vacation: Taking a break from your usual routine can help you to gain perspective and feel rejuvenated.
11. Use Distractions to Cope
Distractions can be a helpful way to cope with frustration. Here are a few ways to use distractions:
- Watch a movie: Getting lost in a good movie can help you forget your frustrations.
- Play a game: Playing a game can help to take your mind off things and provide a sense of accomplishment.
- Work on a hobby: Engaging in a hobby you enjoy can help to distract you and provide a sense of purpose.
12. Practice Deep Breathing
Deep breathing is a simple, effective way to reduce stress and calm your mind. Taking a few deep breaths can help you feel more centered when frustrated and relaxed. Here’s how to practice deep breathing:
Pro Tip
Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes and take a deep breath through your nose, counting to four as you inhale.
Hold your breath for a moment, then exhale slowly through your mouth, counting to six as you exhale.
Repeat this pattern several times, focusing on your breath and letting go of any tension or stress.
13. Practice Forgiveness
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning hurtful behavior but letting go of negative feelings associated with it. By practicing forgiveness, you can release these negative emotions and move on from past hurts.
- Write a letter: Write a letter to the person who hurt you, expressing your feelings and forgiving them.
- Practice empathy: Try to understand the other person's perspective and why they may have acted the way they did.
- Let go of grudges: Instead of holding onto anger and resentment, focus on positive feelings like love and compassion.
14. Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk can be a significant source of frustration and lead to low self-esteem and self-doubt. You can learn to reframe your thoughts and develop a more positive outlook by challenging negative self-talk. Here’s how to challenge negative self-talk:
- Identify negative thoughts: Notice when you think negatively about yourself or your situation.
- Question your thoughts: Ask yourself if your negative thoughts are based on reality or if they're exaggerated or irrational.
- Reframe your thoughts: Replace negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones.
15. Practice Self-Care Activities
Taking care of yourself is essential for managing frustration and stress. Here are a few self-care activities to try:
- Get enough sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours per night.
- Pamper yourself: Take time to pamper yourself with a facial, manicure, or pedicure. Indulging in some self-care can help you feel refreshed and rejuvenated.
- Take a break: Take a break from your responsibilities and do something relaxing, such as taking a bath or reading a book.
- Cook a healthy meal: Nourish your body with a healthy meal you enjoy preparing. Try a new recipe or experiment with different ingredients to make it more interesting.
- Art therapy: Engage in art therapy by doodling, coloring, or painting. This can be a great way to express yourself creatively and release pent-up emotions.
16. Focusing on Solutions
Getting stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions can be easy when you’re frustrated. Focusing on solutions can help you to break free from this cycle and find a way forward. Here are a few ways to focus on solutions:
- Identify the problem: Identify the specific issue that's causing your frustration.
- Brainstorm solutions: Consider several possible solutions to the problem, even if they seem unrealistic.
- Evaluate solutions: Consider each solution's pros and cons and choose the most feasible and practical.
- Take action: Once you've chosen a solution, take action to implement it and move forward.
17. Use Visualization Techniques
Visualization involves creating a mental image of a positive outcome or experience. By visualizing success, you can increase your confidence and motivation and reduce feelings of frustration and stress. Here’s how to use visualization techniques:
- Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a favorable situation or achieving a goal.
- Visualize the details: Imagine what you see, hear, and feel in this positive experience.
- Repeat often: Practice visualization techniques regularly to reinforce positive thoughts and feelings.
18. Disconnecting from Social Media
Social media can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family, but it can also be a source of frustration and stress. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed by social media, here are a few ways to disconnect:
- Set boundaries: Limit your social media use by setting specific times when you check your accounts, and avoid using social media before bed or first thing in the morning.
- Take a break: If you are stressed or frustrated by social media, take a break for a few days or even a week.
- Unfollow or unfriend: If someone's posts are causing you stress or frustration, consider unfollowing or unfriending them.
- Find alternative activities: Instead of scrolling through social media, try engaging in activities like reading a book or walking.
Seek Professional Help
Here’s the truth
If you’re frustrated and having trouble coping, it may be time to seek professional help. There’s no shame in seeking help; it can be a sign of strength to ask for support when needed. Here are some signs that it may be time to seek professional help:
- Your frustration is impacting your ability to function in your daily life.
- You're having trouble sleeping or eating.
- You're using drugs or alcohol to cope.
- You're feeling hopeless or overwhelmed.
- You're having thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
If you’re experiencing these symptoms, seeking help immediately is essential. A mental health professional can help you develop coping skills, provide support, and help you work through any underlying issues contributing to your frustration.
Many mental health providers offer teletherapy, which can make it easier to access care from the comfort of your own home. Mental health professionals can help, including therapists, counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists. You can talk to your primary care physician for a referral or search for a mental health provider online.
Remember, seeking professional help is a sign of strength and can be essential in improving your mental health and well-being.
Final Thoughts
But the good news is that this doesn't have to be you
Frustration is a normal part of life, and it’s essential to acknowledge and deal with it healthily. It’s okay to feel frustrated, and it’s okay to seek support when you need it. Remember, coping with frustration is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Try different strategies to see what works best for you.
Don’t be hard on yourself if you struggle with coping at first. Developing healthy coping mechanisms takes time and practice, like any new skill. But with time, patience, and persistence, you can learn to manage your frustration healthily.
Always remember that you are not alone. Frustration is common. Consider contacting a mental health professional if it affects your daily life. They can provide coping skills and support.
Remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself credit for the progress you make along the way. Coping with frustration is a journey, and it’s important to celebrate the small victories along the way.
