The One Liner

10 Simple Tips and Tricks
to Manage Your Anger Well.

author 2

Shreedevi Kukarani &
Priyadarshini Sahoo
April 20, 2022. 4 minute Read

A wise man said once,


Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” 

Mark Twain

So when was it the last time You were angry with someone? If you did, what was the type of Anger you expressed? 

And if you regretted how ugly it looked, well, we have ten simple tips and tricks to manage your Anger well.

What is Anger?

Anger is a basic emotion and a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. It can vary in its intensity, from mild irritation to intense aggression.

Anger is an emotion as well. It is an emotion towards a person or a thing you feel that has wanted to wrong you. It is also a natural and adaptive response to threats.

Two Shades of Anger

Sometimes Anger can be positive, which may motivate a person to find solutions to a problem, help express negative feelings, etc. But too much Anger can often cause more damage than good. It can negatively impact interpersonal relationships and be destructive to self and others. Hence, it’s essential to express Anger in healthy ways.

Expression of Anger is of Three Types


  1. Aggressive
  2. Passive
  3. Assertive


Anger is expressed in three ways;

  1. Passive Aggression

The first one is Passive Aggression, where sometimes a person doesn’t admit that they are angry but are annoyed and expresses their Anger in silence, sulking, or by pretending that “everything is okay.” 

  1. Open Aggression

The second type is Open Aggression, where a person expresses Anger and rage and may lash out at other people. They can be physically or verbally aggressive. 

  1. Assertive Anger

The third type is Assertive Anger which is a healthy way of dealing with Anger where a person communicates their feelings without hurting themselves and keeping others’ feelings in mind. They will be open to talking, listening, and finding solutions.

In Bhagwat Gita, there is a quote that says,

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There are three gates to this self-destructive hell: lust, Anger, and greed. Renounce these three.”

Bhagavad Gita Quotes

And then there is another quote from the same that says,

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From anger develops delusion, from delusion comes the confusion of memory, from the confusion of memory loss of intelligence, and when intelligence is lost, the breath of life is also lost.”

Bhagavad Gita Quotes

When we fail to manage our Anger well, it leads to self-harm, increases problems in relationships, increases stress, etc. So, we got you covered with a few insights and self-help tips to manage your Anger well.

10 Self help tips to manage your Anger well

1. Identify What Triggers You and Know the Patterns

Very often, our Anger is a pattern of our behavior. If we observe ourselves, we’ll realize that certain things or situations make us angry, which act as triggers and may continue as a pattern. For example, A child may get angry whenever the parent doesn’t buy them chocolate; a child has adopted a pattern of getting angry when it doesn’t get what it wants. Observing what makes us angry and when we get mad can substantially control our emotions by working on it.

2. Step away from the situation

If you feel that you are about to get angry or irritated, it’s wise to step away from the situation, calm yourself, think about it, and then take a step. Reacting to a situation impulsively often cause damage; avoiding the problem, taking time to think, and responding will always help.

3. Reframe Your Thoughts

Negative thoughts can also be a factor in Anger. Reframing negative thoughts into positive or constructive thoughts can help manage Anger. Seeing things from different angles and perspectives will help in managing your emotions.

4. Breathe

Breathing exercises can help us to calm down. And here there are a few ways you can practice breathing:

1. Count 1 to 50 and for each count, breathe slowly.

2. Stretch your hand as you breathe.

3. Contract and Relax your hand muscles while you breathe in and out slowly; make a tight fist when you breathe in and relax your muscles when you breathe out.

5. Keep a Journal About Your Emotions

When we are angry, we often experience brain fog and remain confused. Writing down your emotions can usually help you express your feelings and gain better insights into the situation. Writing a journal also helps us to have clear thoughts and focus on mindful solutions. It also helps in tracking your experience with Anger.

6. Visualize Peace

When you’re angry, you can separate yourself from the triggers of Anger for some time and divert your thoughts. Sit down and visualize your favorite place or a calming view such as a beach, mountains, etc. The power of positive visualization will help you to calm down. You can even neutralize your Anger by tearing a paper, running, swimming, or doing things such as sitting in a garden, spending time with nature, etc.

7. Talk to someone

Talking to your close one, friend, or counselor can help you get a better perspective on the situation. It will also help you to take out the burden from your head. When angry, it’s essential to vent out the things burdening you. It does not matter who that is. If you can speak to them, the burden will reduce, and you will be able to think straight.

8. Have a Conversation that has "I," not "You."

Instead of blaming someone when you’re angry, use ‘I’ to describe your problem. Include yourself in the conversation and make the listener think about your perspective. For example- use “I am upset because you did not listen to me when I was sharing something important with you” instead of “you don’t love me.”

9. Forgive and Forget

Don’t hold a grudge because a grudge affects you more than anyone else. It will fill you with negativity and disturbs your peace of mind. Instead, try to forgive the person. It will bring you peace and hence, not affect you anymore.

10. If nothing Works, Seek Help.

If you remain angry too often, it’s always better to seek Professional Help. You can talk to a counselor or psychologist. Sometimes mental health problems can be linked with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, etc.

Final Thoughts

Anger is an important emotion that motivates us, pushes us to make changes in life, and helps us stand up for ourselves, but Anger can also be equally destructive if we don’t manage it well.

Always remember,


Burn Anger Before Anger Burns You.” 

Mark Twain

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