The One Liner

The Art of Letting Go: Ditching Revenge and Embracing Forgiveness

Dastan Huzaifa & Shreedevi Kulkarni

February 17, 2023. 4 minute Read

Learn about the consequences of seeking revenge, how to differentiate between seeking justice and seeking revenge, and techniques for letting go of feelings of anger and resentment. Discover the benefits of forgiveness and constructive conflict resolution for your mental and emotional health.

दूरेण ह्यवरं कर्म बुद्धियोगाद्धनञ्जय |

बुद्धौ शरणमन्विच्छ कृपणा: फलहेतव: || 49||

dūreṇa hy-avaraṁ karma buddhi-yogād dhanañjaya

buddhau śharaṇam anvichchha kṛipaṇāḥ phala-hetavaḥ

Those who are motivated only by desire for the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do.” (Bhagavad Gita 2.49)

In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna teaches Arjuna about the nature of the self and the ultimate reality of the universe. While revenge is not explicitly mentioned, the concept of detachment from the material world and its distractions, including desires such as revenge, is emphasized.

 Have you ever felt the burning desire to seek Revenge on someone? Perhaps you’ve been hurt by a friend, betrayed by a partner, or suffered a professional setback. The urge to retaliate can be overwhelming, and it’s a natural human response to injustice. However, seeking Revenge is rarely the best action and can seriously impact our mental and emotional health.

But Why do Some Seek Revenge?

The desire for Revenge is a natural human response to injustice. It’s rooted in our innate sense of fairness and our need for social harmony. When we perceive that someone has wronged us/betrayed us, our brains release stress hormones that trigger feelings of anger and the desire to take action. Seeking Revenge can feel like a way to restore balance and regain control over the situation.

What are the Consequences of seeking Revenge?

While seeking Revenge may provide temporary relief, it can have serious long-term consequences for our mental and emotional health. Studies have shown that holding onto anger and resentment can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems. It can also damage our relationships and reputation and perpetuate a cycle of violence and retaliation.

Why never seek Revenge?

Recognizing the impact of cultural and societal attitudes towards Revenge is essential. Some cultures see Revenge as a way to restore honor and maintain social order. However, these attitudes can perpetuate violence and conflict and hinder our ability to build peaceful and equitable societies.

Difference between Seeking Justice and Seeking Revenge

It’s important to differentiate between seeking justice and seeking Revenge. Seeking justice addresses the harm done and holds the responsible party accountable. It’s a constructive way to address wrongdoing and prevent it from happening in the future. On the other hand, seeking Revenge is about inflicting harm and getting even. It’s a destructive response that only perpetuates the harm and prolongs the pain.

7 Tips and Tricks to overcome feelings of Revenge

There are several techniques we can use to overcome our feelings of Revenge, which include

1. Always try to Understand your feelings 

Recognize and acknowledge your emotions, try to understand where they are coming from, and find the roots of resentment. 

2. Practice Positive self-affirmations

Remind yourself of your worth and the positive aspects of your life. Positive self-affirmation involves actively telling yourself positive things about yourself and your life. 

3. Use Constructive ways to deal with anger

Find healthy outlets for your anger, such as exercise, art, or journaling. They help you to release your anger well. Art and journaling can also be helpful, as they allow you to express your emotions creatively.

4. Practice Forgiveness

Forgive and Forget should be the motto. Work towards letting go of your anger and resentment towards the person who wronged you. So practice Forgiveness.

Practicing Forgiveness also involves actively cultivating empathy and compassion for the other person or simply focusing on the present moment and the things in your life that bring you joy.

Research has shown that practicing Forgiveness can benefit our mental and emotional health. It can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression and improve our overall well-being. Forgiving others can also strengthen our relationships and our ability to connect.

5. Mindfulness meditation is must

Practice being present in the moment and letting go of negative thoughts and emotions. Practicing mindfulness can also help you become more resilient and better able to cope with difficult emotions.

6. Try to Apologize and make amends instead of seeking Revenge

In some cases, seeking Revenge may be fueled by a desire for the other person to apologize and make amends. However, it’s essential to recognize that seeking Revenge is not the most effective way to achieve this goal. Instead, we should try to communicate our feelings and work towards a constructive resolution.

7. Practicing Empathy to Let go of Revenge

One way to let go of Revenge is to practice empathy. When we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we can better understand their motivations and the circumstances that led to their actions which can help us see the situation differently and diffuse our anger and resentment.

Psychologist Suggetion
Revenge is an action and emotion with the intent of harming someone when a person feels someone has wronged them.

Even though in a short term, revenge might feel rewarding, in a long term it can affect a person's well-being by deepening the emotional wounds, and a person might end up punishing themselves while attempting to punish the person who has wronged them.  People often lose their self-control while seeking revenge, and later might regret their actions. Hence it's essential to calm ourselves, take some time out and think twice before we take any decision on the verge of revenge.

Final Thoughts

Letting go of Revenge and practicing Forgiveness can be challenging, but it’s an essential step toward improving our mental and emotional health, relationships, and communities. By understanding the consequences of seeking Revenge, differentiating between seeking justice and seeking Revenge, and practicing empathy, we can overcome our anger and resentment and find more constructive ways to address wrongdoing. Techniques such as positive self-affirmations, productive ways to deal with anger, mindfulness meditation, and practicing Forgiveness can all help us let go of our desire for Revenge and move towards a more positive and fulfilling life.

It’s also important to recognize the impact of cultural and societal attitudes toward Revenge and work toward building more peaceful and equitable societies. By promoting Forgiveness, empathy, and constructive conflict resolution, we can create a better world for ourselves and future generations.

While some find it very difficult to Let go of Revenge, it’s worthwhile and can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.

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Ojasvi
11 months ago

To understand the difference between seeking revenge and seeking justice is a very important part of maintaining self peace, thank you for emphasising on that enough

Bharat
11 months ago

The Psychologist suggestions make this very authentic to read unlike other Websites that only write opinions without any expert reference
Great job The One Liner for keeping it authentic!!!

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