Choosing yourself before anyone is good. Are you selfish? No!
Shataghnee Chanda
July 29, 2024. 4 minute Read
Imagine you’re travelling on a flight. Suddenly the plane hits atmospheric instability and the oxygen mask is thrown down from the ceiling. The flight attendant shouts, ‘Please put on your mask before helping others!’ At that moment, the remarks may sound counterintuitive but logically when you start thinking it seems the most logical! Why?
Because it is impossible to save others if you can’t breathe!
Remember! It is you above all.
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In this article, we will unshackle the chain of guilt and embrace personal priority because you deserve it, afterall!
Psychologically speaking, prioritising oneself is important for survival and good mental health. According to Dr Kristin Neff, who heads the research on self-compassion, suggests that people who put more effort into securing themself are stronger and can resist most forms of pressure.
The bottom line isn’t about ego; it’s about keeping the balance. If you choose others’ needs over your own every time, sooner or later, you will end up burnt out, and the people you want to help will suffer because you are not at your best.
Choosing yourself before anyone is good because it ensures energy, emotional capacity, and stability, in the long run, to be given to others. Think of it as recharging your internal battery-if you are drained then, how will you provide it?
Why Choosing Yourself Isn't Selfish?
The Trap of Self-Sacrifice
Self-lessness is often widely praised in society. Teachings also point out that being unselfish is noble, and any love or friendship means being different to others at all times.
However, here is the truth: constantly giving without receiving leads to resentment, frustration, and burnout.
In a study published in Frontiers in Psychology, the researchers found out that those people who come third to themselves experience more anxiety and emotional exhaustion. Choosing yourself before anyone is good because it keeps you in healthy relationships. Taking care of your needs pushes you to create space for balanced and reciprocal connections where both feel valued.
Remember!
If You Choose You Before Anyone Else is Good for Your Overall Growth
We forget that life is not a status quo; life is for growth, not preservation. You get to make investments in personal development—how you want your dreams to advance, your ambitions, and how you’re going to keep your mental health in check.
It gives you that time to reflect on what you truly want out of life, opposing living up to constant other expectations.
Imagine working for someone else’s dreams and goals for the rest of your life. That is exhausting, right?
By choosing yourself, you assert that power back.
You are setting boundaries between your time and energy to allow you to grow and change. Whether taking up a hobby, going for education, or simply learning to say “no” without guilt, choosing yourself before anyone is good for personal evolution.
The Guilt of Prioritising Yourself
Overcoming Social Conditioning
The ultimate thing that will hinder your ability to choose yourself is guilt. You’ve been conditioned to believe that doing anything for yourself is bad. Let’s break that down, though. Would you call a friend selfish if they were to go outside for an hour to catch their breath? Probably not. So why are you holding yourself to a higher standard?
Psychologically, guilt arises from the perception of having violated social expectations. As you become your top priority, you may feel unable to fulfil caretaker, partner or friendship duties. But interestingly, in her work, Dr Brené Brown found out that those who set boundaries and choose themselves regularly are better because they aren’t acting from a place of resentment or depletion.
It’s great to choose yourself before anyone, for your relationships. When you are rested, emotionally balanced, and clear-headed, you can give more time without bitterness.
How to Start Choosing Yourself Before Anyone?
Practical Tips And Tricks
If the idea of choosing yourself feels foreign, start small. Here are a few practical ways to begin prioritising your needs without guilt:
1. Set Limits
Practice saying “no” at the right times. If something drains your energy or adds unnecessary stress, that’s okay and it’s acceptable to decline. Setting limits is setting some boundaries in self-preservation.
2. Practice Self-Compassion
To Dr. Neff, self-compassion is also about treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding you’d share with a friend. Stop being your worst critic.
3. Have Some “Me-Time”
No matter how busy your schedule gets, schedule time for yourself in your calendar for at least 15 minutes a day. Whether it’s a meditation, a walk, or reading something interesting, this time is essential to one’s recharging abilities.
4. Ask for Help
Remember that you don’t have to go through all that can be asked of you alone. When you feel overwhelmed, move to family and friends or the professionals for their assistance.
5. Redefine Success
Success doesn’t have to equate to sacrifice, day and night. Redefine it as a life of balance where you, too, have your needs respected, just like others.
With these practices, you’ll quickly understand that choosing yourself before anybody else is good for long-term well-being.
Final Thoughts
Choose You To Feel Empowered About Yourself!
So the next time you want to choose by choosing yourself or someone else, remember that it’s not being selfish; it’s more of self-preservation. Your most prized possession is you, so to be at your best in life with the people meant to matter, you have to take care of that person.
Choosing yourself before anyone is good because it forms a more robust, tender, caring version of you. The more you focus on your well-being, the better you can raise and support those around you.
Take Action: Start small. Say no when it feels right, ask for help when needed, and most importantly, remember YOU are your first priority. Because when you thrive, everyone around you benefits.
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