How to Stop Being Bitter and Resentful.
Diptaraj Bhaduri
December 7, 2022. 3 minute Read
There are many people in this world whom we consider to be bitter because of their actions and words they use against others but most of the time they’re also fighting their inner demons. Many people are always aware of their bitter behaviour and want to overcome it so we are here to help you with that.
क्रोधात्, भवति, सम्मोहः, सम्मोहात्, स्मृतिविभ्रमः,
स्मृतिभ्रंशात्, बुद्धिनाशः, बुद्धिनाशात्, प्रणश्यति।।63।।
A quote from Bhagwat Gita.
Verse 2.38 from Bhagavad Gita states: From anger arises sheer foolishness; foolishness leads to confusion in memory; confusion in memory leads to destruction of intellect i.e. power of knowledge, and on destruction of intellect, this man falls from his state.
Anger impairs judgment, just as the morning mist creates a hazy sunlight covering. In anger, people commit mistakes they later regret because the haze of emotions clouds their intellect.
Power of Words
But before discussing how to stop being bitter, let’s read more about the impact of our words in other people’s lives. Most people have this preconceived notion that our words don’t affect someone highly but that’s totally wrong. If you just look at your own life then you will surely find out some conversations in your life which happened years ago but have changed your life either in a good way or in a bad way.
The words we use have purpose. You decide if that connotation is good or bad. Try beginning with the words you choose for each day if you want to live a life of altruism and change the world. How do you address yourself, other people, your superiors, and your inferiors? We begin to improve our community when we acknowledge the importance of our words.
Even the most resilient people may be wounded by words, believe it or not. Even though they don’t care the majority of the time, it occasionally causes them a lot of pain, even if they don’t express it to you. We might believe that our words are not significant when we say something to someone and they respond poorly, yet they are. We might believe that we were joking or that nothing we said was particularly disrespectful, but you never know what’s going on in someone else’s thoughts. They may overthink anything you said that seemed little to you because they are unhappy, irritated, or low on self-worth. This is one of the biggest problems of being bitter because people around you may start feeling low because of your words.
Reason behind being Bitter
No person is born with bitterness but with time life takes them through horrific phases which turns them bitter.
1. Forgive and Forget
Sometimes we commit some big mistakes in our past which we regret later in our life and that makes us resentful. But it’s important to move on from our past and try to make our future lives better and stop blaming ourselves for what we have already done and cannot be changed.
2. Not forgiving others
Life is too short to harbour resentments, so you need to let it go. The more ill you harbour towards someone, the more you sink into your own darkness, and your behaviour and words begin to reflect your hatred. Call out the person who harmed you. Communicate or take other action to prevent it from taking over your life. You acknowledge what happened, accept it, and try not to dwell on it too much.
3. Stop being hopeless
Although we’re all in a state of anxiety, giving up is the biggest mistake you can make. If you’re depressed, you’ll talk and think only negatively. It becomes a habit and shows on your face. Since nothing is ever failsafe, seek counselling, leave the house, and hunt for gaps in the system. whatever the circumstances. Being upbeat would win you half the battle.
4. Not Practising Gratitude
Being grateful for different things, big and small, brings big changes to your mental health, and state of mind. Most of the time we just look into what we lack and forget about how much we have received. There are different small things that we should be grateful for but generally we ignore them.
5. Keeping high expectations from others
It may be a sign that you don’t hold yourself to the same high standards you hold others to when you find yourself constantly disappointed and irritated with them. If you don’t become more realistic and maintain reasonable expectations of others, you’ll always feel let down and your disappointment will be seen on your face.
How to Stop Being Bitter and Resentful
If you have understood your mistake and are now trying to be a better and positive human then the OneLiner is here to help you. Now let’s learn eight ways to delete bitterness from your life
1. Find motivation to change
Bitterness may have become a part of your character and everybody knows you to be a resentful person. But one of the best ways to change it is to find a purpose to do so. Imagine your life after you become more positive, you will also start attracting different people in your life and having healthier relationships. List the side effects of bitterness in your life and then imagine your life without those damages that will help you to work on being positive.
2. Talk with someone
You might be able to reconstruct your mental patterns with the assistance of a close friend, member of your family, or therapy. You can spend some time discussing the problems that contributed to your negative attitude, but only do so in order to prepare the ground for change.
3. Practice forgiveness
Another challenging one… Forgiving the person you hold a grudge against can be helpful when you’ve let go of intensely negative emotions. It’s okay even if you don’t know how to do it and they don’t deserve it. Give it some time. Simply practising forgiveness can help you feel less anxious and stressed, boost your immune system, feel better about yourself, have lower blood pressure, and have better connections with others. Do this for yourself because you will benefit from forgiving them.
4. Meditate
A powerful self-improvement technique that you can readily implement into your daily life is meditation. You’ll start to notice a significant change in how you feel even if you set aside just 15 minutes each day for yourself. You can check in with how you genuinely feel each day by taking some time to yourself. Bitterness has a tendency to be all-consuming; it can soon become overwhelming and take over all of one’s waking thoughts. Many of us become so preoccupied with these feelings of resentment that we neglect to assess how we’re actually doing on a daily basis.
5. Do Exercise
Exercise, whether it is physical activities such as working out, running, or yoga, generates endorphins that improve our mood. By consciously taking steps to alter our thinking, we not only accord ourselves the respect we deserve but also make room for a physical transformation. Having self-consciousness about our personalities or our appearance might lead to feelings of resentment towards other individuals.
6. Build new hobbies
Leisure time brings back memories of past negative incidents and that stops us from moving on. So it’s better to build new hobbies and spend time doing those because that will stop negative thoughts from coming to your mind.
7. Start journaling
A great exercise that has a significant impact on your perspective is journaling. It is a strategy for taking charge of the circumstance while also admitting that something is troubling you. This is a fantastic method to look at things objectively and, ultimately, find a way to move on if you’re having trouble letting go of bitter feelings.
8. Be accountable for your own emotions
You don’t have to identify as a victim, even though you were the victim of unfortunate circumstances that made you bitter. When the victim is your frame of reference, you’ll constantly blame external factors for your emotions. Anger is a reasonable reaction to unfair treatment, but it is not a means of atonement. You must be accountable for your emotions. Long-term responses to bad situations are within your control.
Final Thoughts
Your past bad experiences may have shaped your character into becoming a bitter and resentful person but you have the power to change it. You’re bigger than your past memories and will have to prove that by shaping your character into a totally new gentle and positive version.
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