The One Liner

Making This Relationship Work With Mutual Respect, Love And Care And Not With Some Unrealistic Expectations Or Some Brand Deals.

Big fat Indian weddings? We’ve got that covered. But what about happily ever after? 

Let’s be honest, the pressure to find “the one” in a land of arranged marriages and sky-high expectations can feel like trying to find a samosa without the chutney – delicious, but missing something crucial. 

Here, we’ll ditch the judgement and dive headfirst into the beautiful complexities of Indian marriages. From navigating family dynamics to building a life with your partner, we’ll explore the challenges, celebrate the victories, and find a space for real, relatable conversations about happily ever after, desi style.

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So, grab a chai, settle in, and let’s chat about the beautiful mess that is Indian marriages and high expectations!

Expectations: A Double Edged Sword

On the bright side, expectations can be a powerful motivator. When we expect good things from ourselves and others, it can push us to work harder, be more prepared, and attempt for success. Imagine studying for a test because you genuinely believe you can ace it – that positive expectation fuels your focus and effort. The same goes for relationships; believing your partner cares can strengthen your bond.

However, expectations can also lead us down a dark path. If we set the bar unrealistically high, disappointment is almost guaranteed. Imagine expecting a perfect score on that test – the inevitable letdown can shatter your confidence. Similarly, expecting your partner to read your mind or be your perfect match can lead to frustration and conflict.

Let’s Get Real: Unveiling Realistic Expectations in a Loving Marriage

Marriage, especially in India with its rich cultural tapestry, comes with a unique set of expectations. We often dream of a spouse who magically fulfils every need, reads our minds, and becomes our perfect other half. But what if healthy marriages are built on something more real, more dependable – realistic expectations?

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In this article, we have listed a few things that you can expect from your spouse, not because they’re mind-readers, but because they’re your partner, your teammate in this beautiful journey called life. 

1. Honesty and Trust

The bedrock of any strong relationship. Honesty allows for open communication, even when things are tough. Trust empowers you to be vulnerable, knowing your partner has your back.

2. Respect and Empathy

Your spouse should respect your opinions, values, and even your occasional crankiness. Empathy allows them to see things from your perspective and offer support when you need it most.

3. Effective Communication

Marriage isn’t a silent movie. Clear communication, both verbal and non-verbal, is key. Expect your spouse to listen actively, express themselves openly, and be willing to work through disagreements constructively.

4. Shared Values and Goals

While you won’t always agree on everything, having a foundation of shared values and goals creates a sense of unity and direction. This could be anything from financial planning to parenting philosophies.

5. Emotional Support

Life throws curveballs. Expect your partner to be your cheerleader, your shoulder to cry on, and your biggest supporter through thick and thin.

6. Shared Responsibilities

Marriage is a partnership. Expect your spouse to be willing to share household chores, emotional labour, and the responsibility of building a happy life together.

7. Growth and Individuality

People change and grow. Expect your spouse to encourage your personal development and respect your need for individual growth, while also being open to evolving together as a couple.

8. Intimacy and Affection

Physical and emotional intimacy are vital parts of a fulfilling marriage. Expect your spouse to be affectionate, show they care through their actions, and be open to exploring intimacy together.

Don’t They Just ‘Know’?
Unrealistic Expectations from Your Spouse

While wanting the best for your partner is natural, unrealistic expectations can create unnecessary stress and conflict. Here are some things to keep in mind to ensure a happy and healthy union:

1. Mind Reading

We all wish our spouse could decode our every thought, but alas, they’re not magicians! Communicate openly and honestly about your needs and desires. Don’t expect them to guess what’s bothering you or what grand gesture you’re waiting for.

2. Always Being Happy-Go-Lucky

Life throws curveballs, and it’s okay to feel down sometimes. Don’t expect your spouse to be your constant cheerleader. Be there for each other through thick and thin, offering support and understanding during tough times.

3. The Perfect Mirror Image

Opposites attract for a reason! Embrace your differences. You don’t need to love the same movies or have identical hobbies. Celebrate your individuality and find ways to learn and grow from each other’s perspectives.

4. Completes Your Happiness

While your spouse should be a pillar of support, they can’t be the sole source of your joy. Find happiness within yourself, cultivate your passions, and maintain healthy friendships outside the marriage.

5. 24/7 Availability

Respect each other’s need for personal space and time for individual pursuits. Whether it’s a solo hobby, spending time with friends, or simply some quiet reflection, allow each other the freedom to recharge.

6. Always Being the "Fixer"

We all have flaws and make mistakes. Don’t expect your spouse to be your personal problem-solver. Learn to handle challenges independently and work together to overcome obstacles as a team.

7. Unwavering Approval

It’s healthy to have individual opinions and disagree sometimes. Respectful disagreements are a sign of a healthy relationship. Embrace open communication and work towards finding common ground.

8. A Lifelong Remake of Your Favorite Rom-Com

Real life isn’t a fairytale. Passionate fireworks might fade over time, but a deep love and respect can ensure a strong and lasting relationship. Celebrate the evolution of your love and cherish the unique bond you share.

Final Thoughts

In a nutshell

Expectations can ‘make’ or ‘break’ your relationship with your spouse. 

The key lies in finding balance. Having healthy expectations keeps you motivated and optimistic. They help you prepare for challenges and appreciate the good times. However, it’s important to be flexible and understand that things don’t always go according to plan. Life throws challenges, and sometimes, the best outcome is different from what you originally imagined. By keeping expectations realistic and adaptable, you can navigate life’s ups and downs with greater ease.

Remember, a healthy marriage is a two-way street. By letting go of unrealistic expectations and focusing on open communication, mutual respect, and shared goals, you can build a fulfilling and happy life together.

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