Vernica Singh
Friendship is a concept deeply romanticized in Indian culture. From the undying bond of Jai and Veeru in Sholay to the annual celebration of Friendship Day with colorful bands, we often glorify the idea of having a “friend for life.” However, not all friendships are as idyllic as they appear on the surface. Beneath the smiles, selfies, and shared laughs, many relationships carry the weight of societal expectations, jealousy, and betrayal, often leaving people disillusioned and emotionally drained.
While friendships are undoubtedly essential, it’s equally important to confront their darker side. To know more,read on The One Liner, a holistic wellness platform.
In this article, we will explore the often-overlooked negative aspects of friendships in Indian culture and why learning to prioritize oneself is a vital step toward emotional well-being.
In India, friendships are often bound by cultural and social frameworks. While they are celebrated in festivals, weddings, and even our movies, they rarely hold the same significance as family. Family is the ultimate anchor in Indian society, often relegating friendships to a secondary, almost temporary, role.
For instance, how often have you heard statements like, “Friends are important, but family comes first”? This ingrained mindset can make friendships feel undervalued, especially during challenging times when loyalty to family is prioritized over everything else. This isn’t to say friendships don’t matter, but they often exist within limits imposed by cultural norms.
Friendships in India often begin out of convenience—being in the same class, working in the same office, or living in the same neighborhood. While this isn’t inherently wrong, it sometimes results in relationships that lack genuine depth.
For example, many of us have experienced “festival friends” who remember us only during Diwali or Eid, or those who appear out of nowhere when they need help. When the requirement is met, they vanish, leaving us to question the authenticity of the bond. This transactional nature creates an illusion of connection but rarely sustains during tough times.
Cultural norms in India often dictate how friendships evolve, especially for women. Once a woman gets married, her friendships may take a backseat as societal expectations push her to focus entirely on her family. The same goes for men, who are often discouraged from showing emotional vulnerability in their friendships, thanks to age-old ideals of masculinity.
These expectations stifle the natural progression of friendships, turning them into formal or distant relationships rather than nurturing ones.
The competitive nature of Indian society often seeps into friendships, creating an undercurrent of jealousy and rivalry. Whether it’s over academic achievements, career milestones, or even personal successes, friends can sometimes become silent competitors rather than cheerleaders.
A classic example is a friend who offers a backhanded compliment when you share good news. Or the so-called “friend” who spreads rumors or belittles your achievements out of envy. Fake friendships—maintained for appearances rather than genuine care—are another troubling trend, fueled by the need to fit into social circles.
Indian culture places family on a pedestal, often at the expense of friendships. In times of crisis, the expectation is clear: turn to your family, not your friends. This often creates a hierarchy where friendships are considered dispensable, no matter how meaningful they might be.
Take, for instance, a young adult juggling a demanding job and a social life. If they spend “too much” time with friends, then face criticism from family members, urging them to focus more on “serious” matters like career or marriage. Such attitudes make it difficult for individuals to fully invest in their friendships, let alone prioritize them.
Friendships in India are evolving, thanks to social media and urban lifestyles. While technology has made it easier to stay connected, it has also brought new challenges.
Social media platforms like Instagram and WhatsApp have turned friendships into a public display. Likes, comments, and posts often replace genuine conversations. The pressure to maintain a perfect online persona can lead to shallow interactions, leaving people feeling more disconnected than ever.
How often do we see friends tagging each other in memes but failing to have a real, meaningful conversation? This “performance” of friendship often masks a lack of emotional connection.
With modern life becoming more fast-paced and individualistic, friendships often take a backseat to personal goals or romantic relationships. As a result, trust and loyalty—once the cornerstones of friendship—have become harder to find.
In a culture that celebrates togetherness, the idea of solitude is often misunderstood. But spending time with yourself can be one of the most empowering decisions you make.
Not all friendships are meant to last forever, and that’s okay. If a friend constantly criticizes you, manipulates you, or drains your energy, it’s a sign to reevaluate the relationship. Walking away from toxic friendships is not selfish—it’s self-care.
Sometimes, we cling to friendships out of fear of being alone or judged. However, it’s crucial to recognize when a friendship has run its course. Letting go doesn’t mean you’re abandoning someone; it means you’re prioritizing your well-being.
Solitude allows you to reflect, recharge, and rediscover your passions. By focusing on personal growth, you can build confidence and independence, reducing the need for external validation.
Stories of betrayal and disappointment in friendships are all too common.
Even a college student who once confided that her closest friends mocked her behind her back, leaving her shattered. A young professional shared how his work “friends” only stayed close for networking opportunities, ghosting him when he changed jobs.
These anecdotes highlight how investing in superficial relationships can lead to heartbreak, emphasizing the importance of choosing friends wisely.
While friendships in India come with their challenges, there’s always room for improvement. Here’s how we can foster more meaningful relationships:
Open communication and clear boundaries help prevent misunderstandings and maintain mutual respect.
It’s better to have a few genuine friends than a large circle of superficial ones.
Being emotionally intelligent and understanding can strengthen bonds
Family and friends both deserve attention, and striking a balance ensures neither is neglected.
Friendships are a beautiful part of life, but they’re not without flaws, especially in the context of Indian culture. By acknowledging the negative aspects of friendships in Indian culture, we can better navigate these relationships and focus on what truly matters—authentic connections and self-respect.
True friendship isn’t about fulfilling societal norms or fitting into a specific role. It’s about finding people who genuinely care for you, inspire you, and stand by you through life’s ups and downs. And sometimes, the most meaningful relationship you can cultivate is the one you have with yourself.