The One Liner

15 Questions to ask your partner before tying the knot


Every relationship requires good communication and mutual understanding to grow and thrive.

Marriage is a commitment or a bond between a man and a woman, a bond that is connected with love, respect, support, understanding and harmony. Getting married to someone is a vital decision in one’s life. Everyone wants a relationship that lasts lifelong. Marriage is an essential part of life and plays a crucial role in one’s life. It affects and impacts people’s lives.

So, choosing your better half wisely is essential as you will spend and share your entire life. Before tying the knot and beginning the journey of marriage, it’s crucial to have open and honest conversations with your life partner in order to ensure a strong foundation for your life together.

So are you ready to marry someone or are you still pondering, “may be, may be not”? 

If you are still under clouds, here is the list of answers to fifteen questions from experts across the world that you must ask your partner before getting married.  


Healthy communication is the key to healthy and successful relationships.

15 Questions to ask your partner before getting married

1. How do you prefer to communicate when there's a disagreement?

If you and your spouse/partner disagree, explain what is bothering you in a non-accusatory manner. “Use all the restraint you can muster not to say, ‘You never’ or ‘You always,'” suggests Sally Landau, a certified life coach. 

Listen actively to your partner’s perspective and work together to find a resolution considering both viewpoints. Avoid blaming language and stay calm to foster a constructive conversation.

2. Are you comfortable expressing your needs and feelings openly?

Expressing your needs and feelings openly is crucial for a healthy relationship. It fosters understanding, builds trust, and strengthens emotional intimacy. “You did not marry your clone,” notes Debbie Mandel, a radio host and author of “Addicted to Stress. “So, be specific when communicating with your spouse. 


Do not assume they have read your mind or intuit what you want.” Open communication is the foundation for resolving conflicts and navigating the complexities of a relationship with transparency and honesty.

3. How do you approach budgeting and financial planning?

Asking your partner about their budgeting and financial planning approach is essential for building a shared understanding of economic goals and responsibilities. It promotes transparency and helps create a collaborative strategy for managing finances together. This conversation can also reveal individual attitudes towards money, allowing you both to work towards a unified financial plan that aligns with your values and aspirations.

These days joint accounts are quite in fashion, but you can always choose another way. Remember! Every partner must ensure your financial freedom is not compromised while embracing this joint saving practices, it is very essential.

4. Should I be aware of any significant debts or financial commitments?

Discussing significant debt or financial commitments with your partner is essential for transparency and joint financial planning. “You should know each other’s full net worth,” says Ed Coambs, a financial therapist and Healthy Love and Money owner. 

“All the money doesn’t need to be merged, but you need to have a complete picture of your partner’s debt, assets, and bank account statements.” This conversation fosters trust and allows you to work together on managing any financial challenges, ensuring a more stable and cooperative financial future.

5. How do you envision our roles as parents if we decide to have children?

How your partner envisions parenting roles is crucial for aligning expectations and building a solid foundation for future family planning. “Talking about family planning requires a safe space, where both partners can be heard and understood, even if they’re not on the same page,” says Sarah Hubbell, MAS-MFT, LAMFT, the founder of Central Counseling. 

Discussing parenting styles, responsibilities, and values ensures that you have a shared understanding of your roles as parents, fostering a supportive and cooperative approach to raising children if you decide to have them.

6. What is your relationship with your family, and how do you see your relationship with them in the future?

Asking your partner about their relationship with their family and how they envision your relationship with them in the future is essential for understanding family dynamics and potential expectations. “Difficult family can be a huge problem in a relationship,” says therapist Aimee Hartstein. “It’s a litmus test of sorts,” she explains. Suppose you can navigate the often murky waters of family dynamics together. 

This is a good sign that you and your partner can manage unexpected challenges. This conversation allows both of you to discuss boundaries, values, and expectations regarding extended family, fostering a clear understanding of each other’s perspectives and helping build a harmonious relationship with both families.

7. What are your career aspirations, and how do you prioritize work-life balance?

Inquiring about your partner’s career aspirations and their approach to work-life balance is crucial for understanding each other’s priorities and expectations. This conversation allows you to align your goals, support each other’s ambitions, and find a balance that accommodates your professional and personal lives. 

It lays the groundwork for mutual understanding and cooperation as you navigate career paths together.

8. How do you handle conflict, and what strategies do you find most effective for resolution?

Discussing how your partner handles conflicts and their preferred strategies for resolution is essential for building effective communication.” Never respond when you are angry and leave the room or the house if you need to cool off,” advises Elle Swan, an international speaker and life coach.

9. What are your core values and beliefs?

Inquiring about your partner’s core values and beliefs is crucial for understanding the foundation of their worldview. “Shared values are the glue that holds the relationship together in good times and bad.” licensed clinical social worker Chelsa Watkins Jordan says. 

This conversation allows you to explore shared values, identify potential differences, and ensure alignment in fundamental aspects of life.

10. How do you envision incorporating religion or spirituality into our relationship?

Discussing how your partner envisions incorporating religion or spirituality into the relationship is essential for aligning values and expectations. This conversation allows you to understand each other’s beliefs, practices, and preferences, fostering mutual respect and a shared spiritual approach that can strengthen your connection.

11. What are your favorite leisure activities, and how do you like to spend your free time?

Inquiring about your partner’s favorite leisure activities and how they spend their free time is a great way to understand their interests and hobbies. This conversation helps you discover shared activities, explore new things, and appreciate each other’s pursuits. It contributes to building a stronger bond by fostering a deeper understanding of each other’s personal preferences and sources of enjoyment.

12. How vital is alone time for you?

“Acknowledging each other’s boundaries allows both people to understand what they are comfortable with without guessing or acting in a passive-aggressive manner,” says marriage and family therapist Erica Hershey Ross. This conversation allows you to establish boundaries, respect each other’s needs, and create a balance that ensures a healthy and fulfilling relationship. 

Understanding and acknowledging the significance of alone time contributes to overall well-being and helps cultivate a more harmonious connection.

13. How do you see us dividing household responsibilities?

When writer Sally Howard was researching for her book, The Home Stretch: Why It’s Time to Come Clean About Who Does The Dishes, she found that 78% of cohabiting respondents said housework caused relationship tension. 

Discussing how to divide household responsibilities is essential for creating a fair and balanced partnership. This conversation allows you and your partner to understand each other’s expectations, preferences, and strengths regarding tasks at home.

14. What are your expectations regarding roles within the relationship?

Inquiring about your partner’s expectations regarding roles within the relationship is crucial for establishing mutual understanding and alignment. This conversation allows you to discuss and define expectations related to various aspects, such as communication, decision-making, and responsibilities. 

It helps to create a shared vision for the relationship and ensures that both partners are on the same page when fulfilling their roles.

15. Should I be aware of any health concerns or conditions?

Discussing potential health concerns or conditions with your partner is essential for open communication and mutual support. This conversation allows both of you to be aware of each other’s health needs, fostering a caring and understanding relationship. 

“Having healthy communication in relationships helps each person feel heard, seen, understood, and valued,” Watkins Jordan States. It also helps in planning for the future and navigating potential challenges together.

Final Thoughts

Remember, it is about asking these questions and actively listening to your partner’s responses. Honest and respectful communication is the cornerstone of a solid marital relationship. These questions are a starting point for building a strong foundation for your marriage. Take the time to understand each other’s perspectives and work together to create a vision for your future.

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